Sunday, 26 October 2014

The Gem In The Dust

As far as weeks go, this one has been one of my most challenging, to date. These challenges have pushed me to the limit. I feel like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards, and dragged along a stony path. I'm going through a marriage break-up, so anyone who has experienced this will know exactly what I mean! On top of that, though, I have had other, emotionally-draining encounters on top of the usual daily stuff that we all live with and deal with.

But I've also had some profoundly positive experiences going on, this week. The timing has been impeccable. Just at the point when I was beginning to wonder how I was going to continue to pull myself onward in my new life, brilliant gifts appeared for me. I've been presented with new opportunities to grow and evolve, that are in keeping with my intentions for my new life.

I have termed what I'm going through right now as "life rehab". I am journeying along a brand new (stony) path. Some parts of the path contain potholes that I have accidentally walked into, or those which have been unavoidable. It has rained hard along the way, and the puddles and mud that has collected each serve as a lesson for me. I have spent a long time at each of these potholes, puddles and muddy patches, reflecting and feeling the experience as deeply as I can, because they are lessons for me to learn from and use to grow and get better. I realise that I am mindfully going through my divorce, trying to experience it as fully as possible, embracing the pain, fears and anxieties, and then meeting them head (and heart) on.

This is not a time to shy away from the self. It is a time to allow the experiences to facilitate positive change. This week's solar eclipse, for me, has shown me how I have finally met the darkness within my life and begun the process of shifting it, to reveal the light, the source I have within me to shine brightly. This is my life rehabilitation: crafting my life as a new energy, and mindfully creating my new self into reality.

Negative experiences can teach us so much about ourselves. As horrific as some of these events can be, I feel that it is essential to be gentle and forgiving with ourselves during these processes. There is no point in self-sabotaging by internalising the negativity, turning it inwards on ourselves as further punishment; but to experience it, feel it, and then accept and release with love for ourselves, and gratitude for the experience, itself - here is a chance to make something different, no matter how small or large it is - because there is always a way to find a gem hidden in the dust.

As I reflect on this week, I can see the turning point - ironically, right after the eclipse! Suddenly I was experiencing what I have been working towards for a long time. Opportunities to shine are presenting themselves to me in several ways. Crucially, the change is because suddenly I believe in myself, and so do others. So here I stand, on my stony path. I have wiped away the mud and the tears: I am the gem in the dust. And people are beginning to see my true worth. The path ahead looks clear - because I have not yet walked along it. It is fresh, new, fertile ground, and I have seeds to plant along the way.

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