Spark or Sparkle? Get connected!

I've been reading the latest reports on what's happening in our world, this week. Ebola; the conflict in Gaza; Syria; Ukraine and Russia; misguided/greedy/clueless politicians around the world making decisions affecting their country and not listening the the masses; then there's the rising obesity, cancers, poverty, famine, the global economy; the death of Robin Williams. All of the above interspersed with adverts trying to influence what car I should buy, what I should be wearing, where I should be holidaying, and how to be thin. Social commentary on facebook/twitter about the above, and the radio making sure views are adhered to. Or to give people a chance to rant about a subject. No wonder I'm feeling glum. In the time it's taken me to even type this list, I'm feeling lower than before I started.
This can't be how life is supposed to be...is it? Are we all hard-wired to strive for our own individual wants, over and above what others needs are? At what point did the human race move from looking after their basic needs - as being satisfactory to a happy life - to tearing apart someone else's to satisfy one?
 I know this is not the case: the outpouring of grief over Robin William's apparent suicide has been immense, and why? Because he was a fantastically funny human being, who demonstrated his ultimate fragility. A fragility which exists inside all of us. His death has struck a chord with many.
What's happening in the middle east is becoming a prominent news feature every day, and as such is no longer hard-hitting. A couple of weeks ago, whilst eating breakfast in a hotel dining room, the TV was showing the BBC news and weather. As the news items rolled, it reported the latest death toll of the Palestinians: nobody moved. Nobody watched the item. Heads down, shovelling in their food. A moment later, and the weather forecast came on the screen: heads swivelled to watch in anticipation of how hot it was going to be, and whether raincoat or sunscreen would be required, for the day. A hush fell in the room. As soon as the report had finished, people went back to eating. How can this be? Is this English-ness? Is this apathy? Is this a tolerance thing? Is it tolerable to hear how children are dying because of an arguement over land and religion as a means to power and control? I feel the answer to this is "yes" - because we are flooded with the news all the time. We are becoming hardened to war atrocities, because it is something happening far, far away, and it doesn't affect us, at all. Does it?
You know what? It does! It bloody well does, you know. Why?
The fact that someone is more bothered about the weather in their town than fighting and killing going on in another part of the world, is a worrying symptom of how our societies are becoming disconnected with each other. My ability to continue to empathise and feel the need to help relies on my emotional intelligence, that which lights me up inside. How would I feel if I were in a refugee camp in Syria with my children? Not being able to go back to my home. How does it feel to be too scared to leave the house for fear of being raped, killed, or arrested? How does it feel to bury a child? How does it feel to lose everything in the blink of an eye? How does it feel if I forget my umbrella and it rains because I didn't listen to the weather report that day? I get wet: so what?
The thing is, it seems that there are more people who are willing to loudly complain about getting wet before they go home to shower and change into something warm and dry, than those who are shouting about the injustice in the world, and who are prepared to hold out their hand to help a fellow human being. A disproportionate power who want to seek revenge and kill, in comparison to those who are prepared to connect with themselves and others, and find out what has made them feel that urge and make a change. That's why we are all affected by apathy or a lack of empathy. I know that there are movements, campaigns, and positive ways in which social media is helping to influence societies and governments and those in power, but we need to make more of a connection with what's going on in the world, and pay attention. We are all affected in some way by the actions of others.
I was waiting to pay for my food in the supermarket a few days ago, where the store is being refurbished. It was quite busy, and there was an older couple behind me getting really cross and complaining about having to wait to pay for their trolley full of items, despite a free till which was for "baskets only". "So what?" I thought. "The man at the till is doing his job. There are a number of people walking around with baskets, and a larger number with trolleys stacked full of food".
The woman started to raise her voice in annoyance at this, referring to the "stupid idiot" at the till who had refused  to serve her. I wondered whether the young assistant had heard her, and if so, how he would have felt to be insulted like this. I made eye contact with her. The woman continued to complain. I smiled as I listened, then said, "Ah well...never mind. Let it go! There are worse things going on in the world, right now! A few extra minutes queueing won't do you any harm." She stopped in her tracks, took a step back from me, then whispered, "You're right. Of course not." She was so wrapped up in her own head, thoughts, irritation, that everything else had become insignificant. But given an opportunity to see another view, she made a connection with her own feelings, and realised that it didn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things. After I'd paid for my food, I went up to the woman, and wished her a lovely weekend. She smiled back at me and wished me the same. Ta-da! Connection made: spark turned into sparkle. Job done!

This is what this blog post is really about: taking a moment to step back from a situation and connect with your self. Just a moment to track what's going on, back to the "spark", and decide whether it is a sparkle to light your inner glow (that which makes you shine); whether that spark starts an unstoppable fire (that which provokes a sense of a need for revenge or retribution); or whether that spark should be extinguished before it causes any damage (the awareness of negative feelings and acknowledgement  before letting them go without consequence). And if it ain't gonna make you shine brightly enough for others to see and share their light with yours, then don't set the sparks off in the first place. As Ghandi said, "You must be the change you want to see in the world".

Tracking The Inner Voice

A cup of decaffeinated coffee sits on the table, next to my laptop as I work. I am in a hotel near the camp site I am staying at with my family: they have gone on a day trip whilst I take some time out to write, catch up on work and come back to find my inner voice, again. I have been on a roadtrip around the UK with my 2 children for the past two weeks, going from friends to YHA to hotels, to parents; and now camping in Hampshire. I feel worn out and in need of some peace and quiet, despite the fun and frivolity of the past fortnight.
Outside, the rain has been lashing down; now the sunshine is out again and the world outside the window no longer looks dark and foreboding, but light and welcoming: even the leaves on the trees seem to shimmer with delight as they dance in the summery breeze. Here in the relaxed atmosphere of the hotel lounge, Jack Johnson is playing through the speakers; cutlery scraping plate occasionally accompanies the acoustic guitar, joining in the rhythm of footsteps on polished wooden flooring. A child patiently teaches his terrier pup how to sit and stay: the dog obliges and is rewarded with a splash of wine from his master's mother's wine glass.
Back to my inner voice. What is it saying to me? "Write. Work. Get on with what you came here for. You haven't got all day." I take a sip of my coffee. "It tastes too good to be decaff" says the voice. But I reason with it: "I checked with the waiter and he said it is. It's fine. Go ahead, enjoy!" There was a time I would drink caffeinated coffee, but in the past six years I have given it up. I feel so much better for it, too: I no longer feel jittery or anxious, which is how I must have felt a lot of the time without even realising it. There was once a time when I was accidentally given a proper coffee whilst out with my son, who was 3 at the time. Within 40 minutes of taking my first sip, I felt impulsive and wanted to go out and spend lots of money. My son egged me on in our apparently reasonable discussion to get my ears pierced for a second time (seeing mummy acting with exuberance all of a sudden appealed to his toddler mind; we laughed together as I walked home with sparkly blue earrings added to my plain studs. Caffeine does strange things to me).
But back to my inner voice. "What are you doing? Just get on with what you need to do! Why are you adding sugar to that cup? You don't take sugar!" I reason with this: "The sugar lumps look nice. I want one".

I take a lump and watch as it plops into the darkness. A few bubbles appear on the surface. I find myself entering into a quiet moment of reflection. I see how the sugar has altered the coffee. I see myself as the cup, the coffee as the material I am made of, and the sugar as the external substance that alters the matter. Bubbling away, changing the structure, but the vessel itself remains unchanged. A concious decision to change something within, as easy as that. "If only all decisions were that easy" I hear within me.
But in reality, anything can be changed, it just takes action. Thoughts can change the perception of substance. Only action can alter our reality. In order to make the change, though, the perception needs to be there. We can only perceive that a change is needed by recognising the options and choices around us, but we may have to seek for them before they present themselves. We may not always make the "right" choice, but that decision changes us intrinsically. Within us all is the intrinsic ability to be flexible, to change, but what holds us back? "Fear!" I hear my inner voice exclaim. "That sugar is bad for you, what are you thinking?!" I reflect on this. "Habit" I answer. "It's my habit of adding sugar to my coffee, because the sweetness takes the edge off the bitterness. I don't really like the taste so much, these days. Why did I order that coffee? Because I doubt the hotel serves rooibus tea with almond milk: my preferred position of hidden hippy." So I adapt to my surroundings, rather than force a change on others. I doubt there is a demand for this, and I understand that others may recoil at the thought of almond milk and rooibus. I get it! But there could be, if more people knew about it, if more people were willing to try something new, to make a concious decision to change a habit, without allowing fear to stand in the way of an experiment.
I drink the coffee, enjoying the bitter-sweet flavour, knowing that I won't become jumpy or impulsive. Outside, the sun is still shining. Time has moved on. The alcoholic dog has left the building, and new diners have entered the lounge. The music has changed to something with a bit more energy, and new staff have arrived. The hotel has changed within, but outside it still looks the same. There is a different feel to it. I am now enjoying a bowl of soup and a healthy glass of water. Everything has changed, but is still the same.

Plant For Peace

Plant For Peace
- Buy a flower, shrub or seed and plant it in your garden or into a pot or window box - somewhere you (and others) will be able to see it daily, and watch it grow
- Dedicate it to all living beings in the world 
- Place the intention of peace, happiness and love upon the plant for the world
- Place the intention of an end to world conflict through the growth of love and peace and watch it grow
- Say a blessing or prayer
- nurture your plant with everything it needs to grow, bless it daily, feel gratitude for its growth, and for its place in your world
- Visualise the roots bedding into the earth, spreading the peace through the soil and beyond
- Dedicate the growth to peace in your life and around the world
- Whenever you see the plant, invoke a sense of peace within yourself
- Share the plant by taking cuttings and giving to friends and family, asking them to do the steps above
- Share this post far and wide: get planting for peace on earth!
Thank You All 

One Step At A Time

This photo represents how I try to view each day: I can only experience each part of my day as I reach it, one step at a time. I can start my day by looking at what's immediately in front of it, and so react to it accordingly. I am aware that the rest of the day stretches ahead of me, but I can't experience it and know what will be until I reach it.
One Step At A Time.
There is movement around me, there is a flow, a current; but I choose to take things One Step At A Time. I can look ahead, but not cannot reach it without taking those steps, first. Each step will feel different to the last. A different perspective, a different feel to it. A different moment. I can look behind and see the steps I have made, and although they may matter, they are no longer important in this very moment.
In other words, when I wake up in the morning, I deliberately stop myself from dwelling on the day ahead. It just makes me forget to live in the moment - that first satisfying yawn and stretch after waking, listening to the sounds outside my window, the noise of the outside world, mixed with the sounds of me: my breathing, my voice, my rumbling, empty tummy; my children laughing and chatting. The light straining through the curtains, the feel of the bedclothes, the warmth I am surrounded by. These things and more make me feel so grateful for the day ahead - whatever it may bring. Why spoil the moment by bringing in the stuff to come several hours away - be it good or something to stress about - when I could just enjoy those first precious moments of a new day? Being mindful of each step - from brushing my teeth (I feel so grateful to have healthy teeth, a toothbrush, toothpaste and fresh, clean water), eating my breakfast (delicious toast and tea, tasty fruit), chatting with my children (admiring their growing brains, personality and the unconditional love we have for each other), and so on - experiencing each step to its fullest potential, and enjoying myself, is a key to feeling happy, connected, and contented in my life.
Believe me when I say I have bad days - don't we all? But taking those steps to get from one end to the other when experienced as fully as possible, in connection with ourselves, with others, and with our environment makes everything more of an experience. And if we can try to weave in some gratitude for ourselves and others, and share in the fullest joy for the great stuff that happens to ourselves and others in our day, isn't that worth getting up for?

Meditating Play

I love these big bowl swings. I find my inner child coming out to play whenever I'm near one: there's nothing like sitting in the swing, and the feeling of swaying back and forth through the air. Today we went to the park for a play, and opportunistically, I gave a guided meditation.
Being comfortable, lying in the swing, and being aware of the feeling of the pull of the earth as the swing sways back and forth. The body being pulled down and up as the swing moves. Breathing easily and slowly, in time to the sway. Closing the eyes, to really experience the feelings of movement; and that barely perceptable pause before the swing moves in the opposite direction. Each sway is a moment in time. Experience that present moment, before it's gone and replaced by the next. Like a clock ticking: tick...tock...
Each moment is different to the next. Each sway is slightly slower, slightly shorter. A fraction of time slower. As the swing continues swaying, so the present is ever changing, so the moment is different. Focusing on each moment. Each sway leaves a greater feeling of calm, of peace. Relaxing into the seat. A constant change. A constant movement, whilst the body stays still, the mind is quiet. Feeling the body react to each sway, slowing down...slower...slower...almost still. Quietly resting, a tiny movement in the swing. Calm, slow breaths, calm, quiet mind. Peace. Being held in the air, supported by the swing as it gently moves in the breeze. Quietly resting in body and mind, feeling calm and peaceful. Happy.

Mindful students

Today I have been doing mindful activities with students at both Swanage Primary and The Swanage School.

This morning I met with reception children. We did a range of activities, from imagining blowing up balloons and watching as they floated away, eating strawberries mindfully, to lying down for a beach meditation. It was really interesting to hear their thoughts about what they were eating. They used each of their senses to engage completely in the process, which came to them happily and naturally, without any awkwardness. They talked about how the strawberry had started off as a seed, explained to each other how the seed grew and that there was no such thing as a strawberry tree, and how the rain and the sunshine had helped the strawberry to grow.

When they chose a strawberry to eat, I asked them to feel the texture, weight and shape. Then they used their sense of smell to identify what sort of aroma they picked out ("sweet-smelling"), before licking it, which they found most amusing! Next, rather than taking a big bite out of the strawberry, I asked them to take a tiny nibble and let the flavours move around the taste buds, so that they could identify any different flavours ("tangy", "bubbly"). I asked them to close their eyes to find out if the flavour changed ("stronger").
They all enjoyed this activity. I wondered if they would have been as happy to try doing the same with a piece of food they didn't like or had never tasted, before. Perhaps that's one for another day!

We moved on to some quiet time for a beach meditation. I was taught not to expect young children to lie still, but to allow them to move and wriggle around if they needed to. I was happy for them to do this, although it does feel a bit counter-intuitive! However, despite the wriggling and the fact that most of them kept their eyes open (not a problem) they did lie quietly. We visualised a special pebble which each of them put in their pocket, and then they got up and did a bit of grounding exercise before heading off to lunch. With an extra strawberry as a treat, of course! I thoroughly enjoyed working alongside the children, and felt privileged to do so.

This afternoon I did some mindfulness work with older students. This time it wasn't bread-making, but working with "Zentangle". I asked the students to come up with an intention before they started, and to think about their intentions as they doodled.

It was quite a challenge for them I think, but that's good. My intention for the session was for them to do something that would take a lot of patience and to persist, even if they found it difficult. To realise it doesn't matter about the mistakes, but to carry on regardless of whether it is "perfect" or not. I am sure they were proud of their efforts!

If you would like to book me for some sessions at your school, please get in touch at innerspaceproject1@gmail.com

Solstice

Here in the northern hemisphere, we are celebrating midsummer's day. It has been a beautiful day, with the sun blessing us with its warmth and energy. I have been busy for most of the day, rather than making the most of the lovely weather, but I have been reflecting on my life, looking back at the months since the winter solstice.
The photo above was taken at 10.30pm, just as dusk gave way to the creeping darkness as it slowly swept the sky clear of any remaining light. I went for a walk, and came across several bats as they began their nightly routine. The air was warm with a light breeze, and there were aromas of heady evening floral scents. I finished on the beach, and went for a paddle. The water was cool and refreshing, the waves were quiet and gentle. Just what was needed for me, this evening.

Thinking back to the winter solstice, my new year's resolution was to stand out of my comfort zone. I think I have achieved this - although there is room for a lot more shuffling! Personally, I have gone beyond my comfortable limits frequently since January this year, and don't intend to stop, now. Today I decided to add in a new intention for each week until the winter solstice, in order to continue to grow and evolve.

But for now, happy midsummer's day, or if you are in the southern hemisphere, happy midwinter's day!