Beyond The Gate: To Freedom

Whilst out for a fresh morning run in Dorset, I paused to take this picture. The gate is in the foreground, with the sea, the emerald and sapphire jewels and the dazzling white chalk of the Jurassic Coast and the beautiful blue sky in the background. I never tire of this incredible view. I consider myself to be so lucky to live here, and I am so grateful to be amongst one of the most incredibly picturesque, natural, preserved parts of the country.

As I gazed around, I found myself mindfully working through the sight before me. I became curious about why the gate instantly stood out for me. Initially, it looked like it was an obstruction to the view beyond – why bother with the gate, when there is so much wonderful nature and breathtaking scenery beyond it?

I then began to consider how it is possible to view the gate as an obstruction to the freedom beyond; how as individuals we all have the gates in front of our vision to the beauty we can see but not quite reach. Imagine that an aspect of our self is the gate – one’s own obstruction to what we want to achieve – is our own self-limiting thought or doubt, which stops us from moving forwards and prevents us from enjoying the beautiful environment and circumstances which lie ahead. Seeing the gate itself as a thing of beauty: that the self-limiting belief can also be a thing of beauty, because as we recognise our can’ts/won’ts/it’s impossible/self-imposed limits, we are acknowledging our integrity, or authentic selves (being aware of the fears and doubts which hold us back as well as our hearts desires) because therein lies the opportunity to change something for the better – to create our own freedom.

The ability to see our inabilities, gives us the choice to question ourselves: what if I can? What if I do? Once these thoughts are truly experienced, we have the power to choose to maintain the obstruction, or open the gate and allow us to fully embrace the views and the beauty around us, in truly unimaginable, unpredictable ways we never thought possible: making the impossible a reality.

So today I invite you to open the gate – but before you do, find and experience your own gate in your heart and your mind – what is it that is stopping the gate from opening into the reality you wish to create for yourself? Perhaps your mind is the gate, whereas your heart longs to dance joyfully, wholly, and lovingly into that freedom.

Bon Voyage!

Namaste

Nikki

Time (back in the summer!)

Sometimes things get overwhelming. I have had a very busy weekend, as a single parent juggling work, life, fun, chaos and challenges. We all face these moments in life: my offering here is to encourage you to stop for a few minutes.

By the way, what I didn’t really cover in the video, is that some people tend to believe that mindfulness and meditation means we should be clear of thought. This is not the case: it means being able to acknowledge the thoughts that are going on in our minds without attaching ourselves to them and being caught up in that whirling swirling process of one thought to the next, but stepping back and observing the thoughts. Often this can bring about a sense of peace and clarity, which is what I needed to do, today. Although I have been practising living mindfully for a long while, I still find myself being snared up in thoughts and the subsequent emotions – at this point being able to acknowledge them without placing any judgement on the self is important – rather than allowing the mental chatter and feelings to dominate my reactions and subsequent actions.

Mindful Walks

One sunny Sunday in May was perfect for some mindful walking up at Durlston Country Park in Swanage. We are blessed with breathtaking views of the Jurassic Coast, beautiful meadows and fields, and a multitude of wildlife, here: the perfect backdrop for some mindfulness and meditation. We took off our socks and shoes, (when was the last time anyone did this as an adult?)  lay in the grass and walked mindfully alongside the meadow, rich in colour and beauty. So much to feed our senses, cultivate inner peace and connect with that which supports us.

My gift to everyone who came along was to leave feeling contentment, joy and happiness. I hope that this gift was received as intended. People certainly left looking relaxed and happy!

Thank you to Dave Pratten for your help and to Ali Tuckey,  the Durlston Country Park ranger for organising the events, and to all who came along. I ran a further two sessions in the park, which were enjoyed by all. 

The next Mindful Walk  is on Sunday 13 March 2016 at 10.30 and costs £5. Booking is essential, contact Durlston Country Park on (01929) 424443 or
info@durlston.co.uk

Pressure

Imagine the scene: You are out shopping with your young children. You are in a busy shopping centre: it’s 2pm on Christmas eve; it seems as though the whole world is within the confines of the hot, crowded space. People are jostling around you; conversations heard between one person and the next as you pass echo the thoughts in your head: “I still need to buy 3 more presents, I also need to get sprouts and toilet roll and I’ve only got an hour before the stores close”.

You feel hungry and thirsty but you don’t have time to stop. Your children are over-excited, and aren’t listening to you as you instruct them to stay with you, so you are constantly keeping an eye on them. They frequently stop to look at shop windows, fully-laden with enticing-looking toys designed for maximum pester-power. One child points at something and asks if they can have it. When you say “No” a fresh round of questions and pleading ensues. Meanwhile, the swirl of shoppers around you distracts you from your other child, who has been swept along somewhere. You can no longer see them. Heavily laden with bags, you grab the child who is still pleading for a toy, as you feel the mounting panic reach maximum. You have lost your child in the busy shopping centre on Christmas eve.

How do you feel?

Imagine that…

…You feel hot and sweaty.

…You feel dizzy and your mouth is dry.

…You start shaking.

…You can hear a buzzing in your ears. Your head is throbbing.

…Your arms feel weak with fear and the weight of the bags you are carrying. Your legs seem to have turned to jelly.

You can hear yourself shouting your child’s name, but the noise around you and the sound of the buzzing in your ears begins to drown out other sounds.

You must find your other child.

You feel the panic rising in your chest and stomach.

As you look frantically around you, you catch sight of your crying child just ahead of you, being comforted by a stranger. You run to them, grab your child and hug them in relief. You thank the stranger, who leaves you to join the swirl of the crowd.

How do you feel now, and what do you do next?

OK, so this is an extreme scenario, but I designed it to give you a chance to really feel the physical effects of what you were asked to imagine. Did you feel any of the effects? Well, I can tell you that if you felt any of the panic or fear rising within you during the scenario, then it is possible that you can just as easily feel relaxed and calm if you were to imagine a different scenario:

Begin by sitting comfortably. Place your hand on your tummy. Close your eyes, or focus on something directly in front of you. Notice your breathing, and after a few breaths, take the breath deeper into your lungs, down towards your hand. Feel the hand moving outwards as you fill your lungs with air. As you let the breath out, don’t force it, just allow it to happen. Wait for the next breath to come in, slow and lengthen it as you take it to your tummy.

Now imagine It is a sunny day in the park or in your garden. You are standing barefoot on some lush, green, warm grass. You can feel the blades of grass between your toes. The warmth of the grass permeating the soles of your feet. The ground is supporting your feet as you are standing still, listening to the sounds of birds in the trees, the gentle rustling of leaves in the warm summer breeze, bees nearby humming as they pass from flower to flower. The warmth of the grass on your feet as you stand still and listen. The warmth of the sun around you gently blessing your skin with a relaxing touch that reassures you that all is well in this moment.

Imagine that warmth throughout your body. Sit quietly and soak it up for a few minutes.

Then, when you are ready, take a few deeper breaths and say to yourself “all is well with me right now” before you open your eyes. Smile to yourself.

How do you feel now? I must say at this point that if you found this harder than the stressful scenario, don’t worry! The chances are, that if you are affected by stress, it is because your brain expects stress and responds more readily than the measures you can take to feel the opposite.

That’s why regularly taking some time out to meditate can have a beneficial effect on the brain. When we feel stressed, our body releases stress hormones which causes our heart to beat faster, our breath to become shallow and fast, and our blood pressure to increase. Focusing on the breath and being “in the moment” has been shown to reduce blood pressure. Another study showed how meditating before a stressful event had a beneficial effect on stress levels, even in those who had never practised before. And if you are a multi-tasker, frequently changing tacks increases stress levels, but one study showed that meditating decreased stress and increased effectiveness of tasks with increased concentration levels, as well.

My post from yesterday explained how to differentiate between a healthy state of mind, to recognising the need to reset before reaching panic mode, or hitting the emergency button.

So here are just a few benefits of practising mindfulness and meditation. A key to success is finding what works for you, as there are so many different disciplines. As a nurse I am using meditation techniques with my patients in various situations to help them, with interesting and positive results. I can also vouch for myself as a practitioner of mindfulness and meditation – from boiling an egg, to running up a hill or overcoming insomnia, there is a place for these techniques in many aspects of life – with great results!

Nikki Harman is a nurse working in the NHS; and mindfulness and meditation tutor to adults and children. Contact innerspaceproject1@gmail.com for more information about courses or sessions either face to face or over Skype.

Be Brave!

Last summer, whilst out running in the woods, I headed towards a path I tend to feel wary of. It was a gloriously warm summer morning, and as I ran along the sunlit-dappled path, I became mindful of looking out for Adders. Now I used to be terrified of snakes as a child; and even as an adult, I’m really not that fond of them.
Despite my fear and dislike, I have never seen a snake anywhere other than behind a plate of glass at the zoo: a sanitised, safe environment – perhaps not so much for my benefit – as for the snakes themselves.

I reflected upon this as I left the woods and entered an open space, that the fear I have of meeting a snake on my own well-travelled path, has little basis. Why must I place the emotion of fear into a situation I have never encountered, and may never face? Surely it would be better to experience the fear and react accordingly if need be?

As much as I love being amongst woodland, I do tend to run a bit faster in the areas where I am likely to encounter an Adder. This might knock a couple of seconds off my time, but if I run too fast, I may miss the beauty all around me – even that of the adder itself.

To confront a fear allows us to learn something deeper about ourselves. If we permit the fear to control our decisions on, say, which paths to take in our life, we restrict our choices, and may inhibit our own growth. Although it might feel easier to avoid anything scary or unknown in order to protect and preserve – to sanitise – our comfort zones, these seemingly easy decisions can prevent us from learning more about ourselves, and forming a deeper connection within.

By facing our fears, we can begin to open up to what it is that has influenced our decisions and perceptions. If we fully experience our fear, we can then see the beauty of our deeper selves, learn as we conquer our fear, and evolve on a spiritual level.

So look for your own strength and courage in your heart, and allow the light within you to be the sun dappling upon your path less travelled.

Planting The Seeds

 My beginners mindfulness group were asked at the beginning to sit quietly for a few minutes. In this time, once they had begun to settle in to the session, I asked them to feel a sense of love for themselves at that moment and feel the sensation grow from their heart outwards. Then I asked for them to feel a sense of peace. Connecting the sense of peace and love (there is a hippy inside us all) I asked for each individual to consider a positive intention (a goal to work towards) for themselves; and lastly, to connect this sense of peace and love with the goal or intention. After a few moments the group were asked to choose some seeds to plant into a tray, all the while remembering the intention, as well as maintaining or re-creating the sense of love and peace. Then, to visualise the seed growing, changing, sprouting shoots and growing into the flower it will become. In this flower is embedded peace, love and the happy goal or intention. Each person was asked to take their seeds home with them, to nurture them as they grow and each day sit for just a few minutes, re-creating the sense of peace and love, even connecting with their seed. Today was about planting for peace. Imagining the plant sending out the peace and love through the roots and into the ground, to spread beyond ourselves and lead to others.Yes, this may all sound very hippy, but there is a point to this. The plant is a metaphor for a goal: the goal (intention) is to bring about positive change in the individual. By nurturing the seed (watering it, maintaining just the right conditions for it to grow) the plant has a much greater chance of survival. By feeling a sense of love for the seed, the love is actually for the self – an unconditional love with which to grow the individual’s self-belief and desire to succeed in their intention. Setting an intention gives the plant a deeper meaning. Feeling motivated to succeed and practising the commitment to succeed is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The plant is receiving the individual’s energy through the commitment to preservation.This exercise is loosely based on Metta meditation, a Buddhist practice which focuses on love of the self; love of a friend; love towards someone the individual doesn’t know/know well; sending love to someone the individual doesn’t like; and finally, sending love out to the individual’s community/the world. It is a powerful exercise, one which can invoke all sorts of emotions – positive and negative – but when practised regularly, it can harbour greater coping mechanisms in everyday life, particularly if the individual faces conflict in any aspect of their life; but can have a positive influence on self-esteem.So get planting for peace and love in your life and in your neighbourhood!

Presence

There have been frequent occasions where, whilst on a run, I have been greeted by this wonderful sight. The sun, reflecting on the ocean as a silvery-white glow, its gentle yet persistent beams striking through the clouds. Today's view, however, got to me so much I was almost breathless with awe (and it was not the result of running away from the inquisitive cattle in the adjacent field).
There was just something about the scene that was so powerful I could feel it in my chest, a rush of love and happiness to be able to witness the beauty that was there, in front of me. Free for anyone who could see it, to soak up the gift the eye gives to the soul. Who could look at this and not feel a stirring in their heart? The simple pleasure of being able to tune in to the surroundings and experience that moment of happiness.
I stood still, and drank up everything around me: the crisp, cool breeze that danced around the field; the chattering birdsong, mingled with the occasional "moo" from behind the hedgerow, and the loud sighs of waves meeting land; the delicate salty smell lingering in the air and the taste on my lips; the contrast of the dark blue sea, the heavy clouds, against the green of the fields and the striking sunlight on the water. I stood still, and took everything in. A few moments of stillness, where I closed my eyes, and listened to myself. I could only hear the quiet of my breath, and the joy of the moment, a tangible sense of peace for myself, the words "thank you" whispering in my mind, and gratitude for everything around me. What more could I ask for, at such a moment, other than the gift of presence?